Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What I Learned This Week

What I learned this week.....

You are never alone,

unless you want to be.


being alone is like stuffing wax in your ears.

His voice is there but

you are choosing not to hear it.

Heavenly Father will do His part

if We do ours.

He loves us unconditionally

and no matter how hard we try

we can never pay Him back


He loves us more than we can ever, possibly,


I'm happy

to know it


Monday, October 5, 2009

Dear Erin

You are probably wondering why I am writing you a letter on a blog. I'm not really sure why except I wanted to share a few things I've been thinking about lately and would rather not do it on the phone. Since I have made my blog private I feel like I can say more of what I need to say, so anyway, here goes.

I suppose as the big 50 approaches and life has changed and time marches on, I look at myself with a much more critical eye. I'm not thinking so much about what I see in the mirror as I am about what I think of myself on the inside. I realized some things the other day. One is that I started going to Weight Watchers in 2005, almost 5 years ago. During that time I have stopped and started. Stopped more than started and had some moderate success along the way. After almost 5 years I think I know what I need to do to lose weight. I just don't do it all the time like I should. One of the changes I've noticed is that I don't think so much about the future as I used to. The "future" to me feels like right now. These are the days when I still have my health and abilities, with a few exceptions, and I don't want to waste them. I've accomplished most of the important goals I've set for myself in life but there are still a few things I need improve upon.

I have a very busy life. Work takes up the most hours of the day followed by home. I don't like the way work chews into my life. Lately I have had a very difficult time getting home at a decent hour. I totally missed getting home in time to do my visiting teaching last month and I don't feel good about it. I want work to be finished around 4 or 5pm so that I can go home to my life and my other responsibilities. That is number 1.

Number 2 is my testimony of the Gospel. I have one. I've said it for years and have felt it for much of the time but I haven't studied. I haven't put myself out there and tried to earn it. I want to know the Savior better to feel his peace in my life and to do that I need to put more attention to scripture study and prayer. In the last six months I have been better about that and it has made a difference. I am reading a book about spiritual maturity and the author had a quote in there from Joseph Fielding Smith about the true laziness of people who don't study. I felt rebuked and am promising to do better. I have spent years of my life earning a secular education. I'm overdue to spend equal time on spiritual matters.

Number 3 is the need to develop discipline. I suppose discipline sums up what I want to develop most in my life right now. I don't know if getting to a particular weight is really what I want to focus all my energy on at the moment. However, I am keenly interested in being more disciplined about what I eat as well as getting regular exercise. I'm trying to go to bed earlier and get up earlier. That's really hard but I'm always glad I did it once I get there. I have also realized lately that I'm not capable of being disciplined on my own and recognized I need heavenly intervention. Today I was very tempted to stop at my favorite bakery to pick up some cookies. After a heartfelt prayer the temptation went away.

Number 4 and finally last is that I would really like to have a friend. I'm not good at the whole friend thing. In fact, I don't think I ever have been. I'm not exactly sure what my problem is but it is something I would like to change.

Anyway, I just want to finish up by telling you how much I love and appreciate you. I don't think I tell you that enough. Another thing I want to change.

Love you 4 ever,